Heart Has To Hide
Much words of heart I need to share.
But the feelings of heart, I also fear.
Your eyes are away, my arms stretch wide
When I am in sight, I begin to hide.
Refrain from truth my task is hard.
Such emotion so deep I must try and guard.
Display my warmth with a mask around.
Urge to hold so tight is tied down.
My eyes that speak of truth must stay in shade.
Afraid of your heart for me might fade.
Bright lights of love I must hide the mark.
Confusion to live life of love has me dark.
Wish of signs of mirrored affection I hope.
Afraid of lost with you for I can not cope.
Joy all around you bring so strong.
Better then past suns that brought me wrong.
Shout so loud my heart craves to scream.
My light for you too scared to beam.
Hold on to you and yell my hearts desire.
Must remain in shadows until you acquire.

written 09-29-06

Repetitive Mourning
Monotonous mourning makes my heart weak
Death to words of heart that cant speak
Silenced of love lingers in blackness afraid
Lightness of sorrowed soul quickly fades
Reiterate the gray flood of my craving eyes
Memories of the pale moons when hope dies
Much force in me shines strong a silver lining
Other half lingers in darkness with out shinning
Past joys remembered all fall fast from sight
Aware of truth they lacked, hearts seen no light
Retrospect my architect that leads to regret
My wanting heart is in first for my only threat
Again I lay in damp dirt defeated by pain
Over my eyes will be flooded deep in rain
Too many have occurred and left me in blur
Enormous drop of hope in love now occurs
A quest of love in my thoughts are now drought
Empty faith, the sorrow I have now stands about
Too beaten and tired my heart falls deep
Repetitive sadness forces me into silent sleep

written 06-06-05

Love I Thought
Long wait did I for sweet heart of love
Worth the sun sets for heart shines high above
Content with new life, so safe I now feel
Eyes bright with love, much effort to see its real
Fast racing, deep strong sighs, washes away grief
No darkness in thought, heart is in such relief
A pause in your words a twitch in your eye
Freezes my movement and heart breaths a sigh
Weak in your grip, so quick to loosen our twist
Not strong to rebalance I can not subsist
Breath has cease not form love but from hurt
Love so bright now falls deep down under dirt
Promise of good, but high hope soon darkens
Tight tuff coiled rope of our sweet love slackens
Thought process is lost , cant not find reason
So much was given yet great effort reacted treason
Pieces of me fall fast, wither in misdirection
Your sight first true, heart saw blurred reflection
Deeper the sore for more torn and worn I show
Thought was true love, truth loses my glow

written 06-04-05

My Flower
Immense strength and hope lingers in my seed
The light to find, the sun I need to feed
Growth at a pause from the cause of dark
Love of the sun has not left its mark
Deep sturdy love in stem needs to rise,
So many attempts so many tries
So strong soulful roots ready to stretch
Cased in its empty heart for no shine is fetched
Petals fight to reach all lengths of heart
Wants to hold so tight, light needs to start
Drought holds me down and encloses my love
Aspiration to rise, ambition to grow above
Fight throughout the day to reach for life
Light gives me strength, dark brings me strife
Growing more sorrow, losing much light
Suns pass by, my heart hopes to be bright
All light fades away, gray shades my soul
My flower remains a seed never allowed to grow
Light of sun become my savior and shine onto me
Let me blossom brightly, set my heart free


written 06-12-04

Injured
Lost of long love in depth deep down
Sorrow and tears for eyes have drown
Left all alone bare, broken, and bent
Blood in ears for harsh words you sent
Wounded in heart, ripped all apart
Needed your warmth and still you depart
Beaten by sadness, in the shadows I lay
Wallow in my scars for your heart did stray
Love of my heart runs toward new arms
Mind and soul of my lingers in harm
Beaten and bounded by pain, I ponder
Great love I gave, what new arms made you wander
Soar for more memories stream my morbid mind
End to my heart for a new love I wont find
One did shine so strong, no light can match
Wounds heal not, love from light is my only patch
Gloomy broken soul sleeps with sadden strife
Eyes open with out love, injured is my life


written 06-12-04

Wanted
The eyes of sorrow strongly stare onto me
Its glance is locked and wont let me be free
Depression wants me and wont let me feel
Has me chained and bounded and conceals
All good I hope to lift love high above
Will not be foreseen for misery will shove
My spirits down, my eyes are drowned
Hearts sweetly sing and I can not hear their sound
Reward for my mourning, wanting my heart’s death
Scream for help and a slight feeling of breath
Air that flows within heart, and shines apart
Melancholy tearing at my soul wanting my heart
The gray dreary sorrow that wants me distressed
Deep depressed heart seeks out its only quest
To shine brighter then the sun and be filled
And mind will shine and soul can build
As hope may arise, it falls fast from sight
Sadden sorrow soars through me and keeps me tight
Beaten and bare I fight, for love will be felt
Till deep sleep, I will loosen away from sorrow’s belt


written 03-26-04

Waiting For
I sit so still and wait for the day
When soul’s sorrow can fade away
When heart’s darkness becomes light
And eyes of love will shine so bright
Have high hopes that are will be filled
Too much of my madness of sadness builds
Time is my enemy and has me to its back
Love I hope to have but so deeply lack
Wait for great fate of heart to be true
To hold onto strong love, I wish to do
Search in deep to find the awry
A quest for soul for half heart will cry
Inner self reflects good and love
Eyes run wild to find heart from above
Scared is true and weary I become
Fake and empty hearts, time has sent some
Knowledge o real passion, reveals the empty face
Heart of mind knows love’s rightful place
So still I stay and wait for anew love to send
Love real and true that will have no end


written 11-17-03

Dont Hide Me
Afraid all around all day and night
For reasons unknown it brings you fright
Stay away from feeling far inside
In the dark, emotions of heart you hide
Truth of love, too scared to show
Keep my heart in the dark, hidden very low
Down and deep love of me stays
Too afraid are you so I am kept away
Deny the truth and deny your heart
Too much hidden will brake u apart
Lack of truth brings tears so fast
Pain in heart how long will it last
Driven in depth down under form life
So much in shadows brings forth your strife
Two hearts will cry, two souls will die
You soon must shine our love so high
Don’t hide what you feel in heart as right
Don’t darken heart of love, when it can shine so bright
Away I stay and pray for the a way
When love of ours can see the light of day


written 11-17-03

Broken Mirror
Battle with inner self, war wit one’s feelings
To many times have come when I stare up at the ceiling,
And throw blows to know, love is not felt near
Too much madness in my heart, in my souls shines fear
So many times it seems alone I always be
So many times love is runs away from me
Is it my own heart that does not deserve
My soul that seems to only have hurt reserved
Errors with reflection causes infection
Plagues my mind and for myself there is no affection
My own fault causes a halt in my hollow heart
The reflection of me, I wish to tear apart
So much I crave to touch soft love one day
Inner self wont let me heart be given away
Strong harm blows down and brings my deep
Down in depth, flooded in tears I wept and always keep
Fight for light, but image of me brings sorrow in sight
No love will take second glace for I don’t shine bright
Pain so hard makes my soul want to flee
Loath on high who I become to see
Broken and beat my heart is in such sore
I sink away as the pieces of heart fall to the floor


written 11-09-03

I Want To Fall In Love
So sweet soul shivers when love is found
But no longer have it so soul hits the ground
Miss more then all, the feeling of heart
So long it has been, the memory fades apart
Time is my enemy as if fights my soul
It does not want my soft heart to grow
Heart so fast forgets how to feel
Mind so quick regrets being real
So many nights tears flood my sheets
High hopes that soon my heart will beat
Dream of love while eyes are open wide
Need to find love for it’s not inside
Lack of love makes my body shiver
Mind is morning and memories quiver
The light of my soul is no longer shining
My heart is all gray with no silver lining
One single thought that sets me free
To find love so sadden sorrow can flee
I need that feeling when love is shared
Life will live in me when true love is here

written 06-02-03

Friend Of Mine
So close we have become to be
Great bonds of love have came to me
So cool , so fun, so much I care
So much love I have right here
Love in your heart I admire
More then friendship I desire
To hold and grip friend of mine
Would so quick bring shocks to my spine
Makes my mind burst , so soon soul shakes
Makes my tired torn tender heart awake
Friend wrapped tight in my arms
I will shelter you from any harm
Hold on forever my friend of heart
If love can be felt I’ll never brake apart
So far are we but so close is my love
So high it jumps so high above
The day I see and feel and hold
The day my true life will unfold
Friend of heart of mine of soul
I need you so my broken heart can become whole

written 06-01-03

Love
What is love? How does it feel?
Love is what makes you feel real
Makes you feel strong and alive
And when you down Love is what makes you survive
It’s the feeling you get when you all alone
And crowded thoughts of your love one is shown
Makes your heart beat quick
Keeps your heart healthy, never sick
Makes you do the most dumbest things
Makes you fly high like you got wings
Love brings you into light of day
Shows you all is right in your life today
Makes soul shake so fast with life
Love is what hides you from strife
Makes you feel so good inside
Holds you up high and gives you so much pride
With love you see all things beautiful in sight
You feel all light of heart dat’s bright
Love makes you want to better yourself
Changes all bad and just leaves a positive self
Makes you thrive more, dive for more
Love fills the room from the ceiling to the floor
Love is the strongest the brightest the highest
Makes your heart brake though your chest
Feeling of love makes you dream when your awake
Makes mind twirl and your soul shake
Makes your body warm on the coldest day
Love is what takes all pain away
Love makes a whisper loud like a scream
It’s what make you bring up your self-esteem
Love is what makes you cry rivers of happiness
Love is what makes you live life to the fullest
The feeling of love makes you do so much things
But you have to find it so your heart can sing

written 06-01-03

Scared
Afraid for days, in so many ways
That your love of heart has fade away
Become distant and far ,away from me
Left , gone no longer can see
Vision of love your eyes turn
Reflected pain my heart burns
Fearful touch will be lost
Waters of heart become frost
Feelings have gone can not feel
So fast so quick it does not seem real
Terrified of being empty inside
Rivers of lonely tears I have cried
Being alone has me afraid
I stay so sad in terrors shade
In dark and in cold I remain
No longer can hold you has me insane
You left I stood and now I am scared
Can I focuz on life with out you here?
Sad, scared, sorrowed heart is in strife
For with out your love there is no life

Blanket [my fav]
Too many nights I have spent so cold
Loud whispers of shivers my heart has told
Desire for warmth to cover my heart’s pain
Wish for my blanket to shelter from sorrow's rain
Much cold I feel alone at night
Blanket arrive in my arms make my heart shine bright
Soft blanket of my heart cover me
Let me hold you feel the warmth from me
Cuddle so gentle passion so strong
Wrapped in my blanket I feel no wrong
Tight and firm I shall hold onto you
To let you go my heart will never do
Past loves did end and brought me fast fear
So shy am I but my love is here
I seem to hide but blanket it is true
Warmth in my heart has risen for you
Grip of love and warmth I give
Shelter from blanket helps my heart live
Blanket of mine I care so deep
In my arms my blanket I will always keep

Light Of My Candle
Feel its heat and starts my light
Its warmth shines through my darkest night
Keeps warm all emotions around
Love very near can be seen and found
Brights up life and keeps it burning strong
Needs the heat to continue or wont last long
Time passes by, still light shines
White light of love I feel as mines
Shimmering is so strong, the light is bright
Love still strong through the blackest night
Feel heat goes soft something seems awry
Light of my candle now breathes a sigh
Light starts to flicker room dimmers down
Heat of light slowly starts moving around
Begin to feel distance from heat of light
All feeling of love dimmer from sight
Emotions seem to fade and white goes gray
Heart will go dark if no light comes my way
All became dark and can't see light about
Love is gone; light of my candle is out

I Thought Was True
At first was a friend but stronger love I did send
The true love for you made my sadness end
Then feelings you sent gave life to my soul
Such strong love I felt I no longer feel low
You were imbedded in my soul and engraved in my heart
I hoped on high to hold you and never brake apart
Crave to see you and feel you close
Addicted to your love I love you the most
Sweet emotions of heart slowly leave strong
Something went awry something feels wrong
My love of heart slowly fades away
I thought love was true that it was here to stay
Fast it was gone fast my heart dropped
Sorrow and sadness in my soul I wish would stop
I sit still in shook your words brake through
The anger you send but what did I do
I beg for forgiveness I want you so much
Love of heart backs away but your heart I want to touch
Thought love was true I wanted it to last
Now sweet love of my heart becomes a sadden past

Past Love of Heart
Love from a past heart I thought did end
In sight of past love, and heart shines bright again
Past words from past love had brought sorrow
But new feelings of action brings hope for tomorrow
True feelings once felt strong I did hide
Love of past heart brings emotions by close side
So near are we now felt love through skin
Hand in hand I feel past love within
Makes soul shake strong and now heart runs scared
Will past repeat itself has me feeling fast fear
Past love of heart softly rests head on me
Body shivers once more in such ecstasy
I kiss so soft the hand of past love of heart
I hold on high strength. I don t want to brake apart
Such love of past heart has risen so strong
So scared of heart again feeling much wrong
Should I try a new chance to be wit you
Give my heart so scared and wanting too
For now I breath a sigh and sit stillto wait
To see sign ofpast love with love will be great

All Alone Again
All alone again wishing it would end
Sweet love of heart I wish someone would send
Hope on high for someone to hold
How much longer can this sorrow unfold
No one around, joy drags deeply down
Voice of love seems to never make a sound
My eyes mirror so strong past sore
Highly crave a love, I cant take it no more
Through sun such sorrow, through moon I cried
To see light of love so much I have tried
No hearts of feelings are felt about
Emotions of sadness I wish were out
Much pain within my heart cries sorrow
Need not to be alone today not tomorrow
Wish to hold on high and comfort so strong
Hold tight love of heart, hold on so long
Beg on faith to send so quick love true
Hold of forever my love I shall do
All alone again so sad I just lay
To have love in my arms I wait and stay

The Light
I am feeling quite sad today
Sorrow has swept itself my way
Depression hits hard and has me chained down
So much grief has me from moving around
My mind is darkened and won`t find light
Searching to know if it`s day or night
Walls are closing in on my brain
Is this a sign of going insane
Sitting down silent, still and all alone
Need help can`t do it on my own
Help to see what is plaguing me
When the answer is known I can be set free
Set free from the fright and my darkened mind
The light of day I need to find
Being in the shadows has me in obfuscation
Causing me too much aggravation
For the light is not in sight
And causes me pain and fright
My hope goes toward one thing
To find the light so my mind can sing

Distant Crush
Sit still pondering on a distant crush
So quick so fast my heart begins to rush
True thoughts of love my heart has brought
True love of crush my soul has cuaght
Only can dream to be by crush`s side
Not in sight but not cause you hide
Too far away it is you stay
To think true of that sweet fine day
When crush of you can be shared
When feeling of mine will show I care
For now I wait with you in mind
Thoughts of you, heart jumps shows the sign
Of love of crush will one day be near
Whispers of warm heart I shall hear
High hope has heart so very filled
Thoughts of you shows sweet soul great chills
Distant crush of heart you just wait
One day in sight together shines great
True to say one day it shall be
Distant crush will be in front of me