This is a place where I will be posting some of da realy dumb shyt I do

Read if ya like....

OK OK keep dis shyt between ME and YOU so DON’T TELL NOBODY!

I was walkin up da stairs to go into my building. Now in our dorm rooms we have an ID CARD we have to swipe (like a credit card) and put our code to get into our dorm buildings. NOW why o why? My dumb as goes and instead of takin out da CARD I take my key out and I am lookin for da key hole, now I am getting mad like WHERE DA DAMN KEY HOLE I am pushin da buttons and then I am like o0o0o0o0o0o0o no key hole its da card I have to use so SWIPE IT

I just finished eatin a steak and cheeze pop tart WAIT dat don’t sound right steak and cheeze HOT POCKET there we go ok from the microwave and ya know how ya have time left from heating the hot pocket and it just stays there sayin like 2:13 (minutes left of cookin) well I ate da hot pockett (it was good) but like 5 mins lata I am like what time is it I go look at da microwave time and I am like WHAT DA HELL it 2:13 in da mornin WHY what da fuck I am movin all around do room all confused, and my friend was like Orlando no dats da time u have left to cook its 11:05 not 2:13 I am like o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o (me slow long time)...

OK I got a credit card in da mail. I AINT GOT NO JOB but yett they sent my Rican Azz a CREDIT CARD (ya know AMERICA aint right). I knew I should just throw it away but it looked so BEAUTIFUL had my name on it and evrything. So I used it, used it some more and more, lol this web site ur on right now was purchased wit da card. Now the credit limit is $600 and why o why I have a balance of $606.87 but dont tell no one. I AM SLOW I KNOW. ps: Orlando Soto Jr. will be acepting small (or large) DONATIONS.

Why I woke up mad late. it was 9:00 and I had class at 9:25. So I ran to go take a shower right. I am sayin I was mad sleepy and I aint know what I was doin. I am in da shower and taking off my cloths and I am noticing some different things. The shower was different. The shower head was different. I am like what da blood. and then I hear a Gurl talking, I am like WHAT DA BLOOD dat heifier in here for her nasty azz. lol then I was thinking for a mintue..... o0o0o0o0o0o I WAS IN DA GURL SHOWER ROOM I was like O SHYT... I aint no want to do so I washed da balls and butt right quick. Got dressed and was OUT lucly no one saw me haha.

OK on campus they gave out these packages right and in the packages tey had mad shyt in them. One of the things was a sample of Nair. ok so I was like cool I got mad body hair I am bout to try this and see how it works. so I am thinkin like where should I try it at. Not my face cuz if its messes up everybody and they mama gon see so I was like fuck it I am gon try it on my pubs. So I did and why o why I was havin some serious Difficulty, da shyt was not workin right at all and it was kinda burnin. All I know is some hair was left in some parts and some parts were bald. Now I am all spotted up lookin like a damn leopard [My Life].

My greedy azz went to da kitchen to get me some cake, so I took the box that the cake came in [it was store bout already made] and I went to cut a piece. I was gon put it the microwave to make it nice and warm right, WELL , I cut a piece and put it on da plate and WHY O WHY O WHY I picked up the BOX of chocolate cake and put the BOX in da microwave. And I am chyllin for like three seconds and I see da plate on da counter and the piece of cake is just looking at me like I am slow and I am like damn didn’t I just put you in the microwave then I look at the microwave and was like o0o0o0o SHYT!! Lol [slow Rican]

I went to da kitchen to get some water right so I got da cup and poured da water from da sink and I took a sip right quick [water was good] so I go to da living room and I am watching TV and I get thirsty right and I went to get some more of my cup of water… but for some reason it was not on da living room table…so I am looking for it in da living room and IT WAS NO WHERE TO BE FOUND so I am like what da blood! So I go to da kitchen and I am looking for it right. Its not on da counter...its not next to da sink so I am like WHAT DA FUCK!!! So then I look and I open da damn dish cabinet and THERE IT WAS my dumb ass put da cup of water in da damn dish cabinet [haha] I always do stuff like dat… I put da remote in da refrigerator, I put da milk in da bathroom, I put da damn soda in da cabinet.. [slow Rican hurr]

Ok I went to give my aunt a damn massage right…and I put dat ICY HOT [Bengay] shyt on it too so after I massaged her I had to pee right so my slow ass forgot 2 wash my hands before I went to da bathroom and I grabbed my pinga and took a piss right quick and WHY O WHY O WHY my pinga started feeling TINGLY!! And I am like damn dat icy hot shyt was rubbed of my hand is now on my pinga and I am tellin my aunts and they are ROLLIN!!! And I am like “dat shyt aint funny” but the tingly was ok [smiles] then it started burnin I am like “my pee pee BURNS my pee pee BURNS” and they aint carin they was just laughin they asses off so I ran to da bathroom and took a shower Dat be dat last time I massage someone wit some damn BENGAY

OK I wanted to clean the kicthen in my dorm room right cuz my damn roomies aint really they clean type, so I got up and went to do my stuff, The sink was full of dishes, I was bout to wash them by hand but there was ALOT so I was like NAH YO, and I put them in da dish washer ya know, BUT there was no more dishwasher dish washin liquid just DA REGULAR KIND, so I was like I wil just use that RIGHT same SHYT its for washing dishes and dats what I wanna do RIGHT???? um......... NO!!!!, ok I was in da kicthen right and then I notice a lil bit of bubbles under the dish washer I am like WHAT DA BLOOD.. so I wipe it off, no harm done...and then I look again MORE BUBBLES, I was like gggrrrr!!!, so I wiped it off, and them MORE AND MORE, da damn shyt came SPILLING OUT, all OVER DA FLOOR!!! shyt got SOAKED UP, there was BUBBLES EVERY WHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, I was like DAMN!!!, so I was PULLIN MAD BOUNTY ALL OVER THE FLOOR to clean, I went and got a BIG TOWEL and put it under the dish washer and it got SOAKED QUICK...and then KNOCK KNOCK at my door it was the people from the room under me they was like "its rainin in my kicthen!!! the water is drippin all over" I was like o0o0o0o shyt....so I kept cleanin it up...then KNOCK KNOCK at my door again. it was the DIRECTOR of the BUILDING she was like "Orlando whats goin on, the room downstairs said the cieling is leakin" I was like "yea yea my bad the dish washer messe dup, but its claened now" she was like "AIGHT" so yea DONT WASH DISHES IN THE DISHWASHER WITH REG DISH WASHING LIQUID, dats why there is A SPERATE KIND lol I learned something new.

06-17-03
ok why my dumb ass was tryin to put da grill on outside to cook some shyt on and I lit it up but the flames went crazy so I put da cover on it to kill da fire a lil then after a hot minute and I lifted it up and DAMN FIRE BALL came out and caught my arm. I thought it was nada cuz it was mad quick but when I looked at my right arm all my damn HAIRS on my arm were BURNT!
Look 1st pic is my left arm now, and now this is my right arm SO SAD , tryin to get my grill on and my body hair gets burnt. [damn trageody]

07-07-03
ok I am a DUMB AZZ [on da real] OK most of yall already know I am a DUMB AZZ but for yall who dont I AM, hahaha [grins] ok I went and took a pork lion and some steaks out to defrost right and put them in da sink and ran luke warm water over it like I always do so it can defrost and we can COOK it and EAT it ya know everything is cool right?.............UM HELL NAH. I went and cut my hair and then showered and when I go down stairs DA WHOLE FUCKIN KITCHEN WAS FLOODED. there was WATER FOR DAYS yo. fuckin LAKE in the kicthen [seriously]... all in da sink, on da conter, in da cabinets under the sink, all OVA the floor, soaked the carpets... so I am LIKE fuck. I guess the bag that da pork lion was in got stuck in da drain and the water just FILLED out and then SPREAD all over da fuckin place. Took me like an hour to clean it. WIth a mop 3 towels and 2 whole roles of bounty, the kitchen is now DRY again .. and its looks cleaner too [hahaha]